Finished Drafts and Beta Readers

    Yesterday I finished the second draft of my current novel. Then I sent it out to beta readers. 

    I am currently in the process of attempting to distract my brain while all the while it wonders: "Are they reading it? Why haven't they read it yet? Maybe they have read it and didn't like it and they don't know how to tell me. Oh, god, I'm a bad writer. I should just stop." And its only been 36 hours.

    Anyways, I also started writing my next novel today so my intrusive thoughts can go fuck themselves. I win today me. I do think it is important to keep moving onto the next one. To keep writing, keep creating.

    There is this scene at the end of Tick, Tick, Boom where Jonathan Larson is coming off a great showcase for his musical. He's talking to his agent about the reception and how it just isn't feasible to put the show on on Broadway. He, seeming hopeless after realizing the thing he has poured his heart and soul into for the last eight years isn't going to happen, asks her "What do I do now?"

    All she says is "You start writing the next one."

    I don't know if my book will get me an agent. I don't know if a publishing house will buy it. I don't know that if they do it will be a great success, or any success at all. I don't know if the things I have seen in countless daydreams and derailed trains of thoughts will come to be. But I do know that no matter what I will always write the next one.

    I am a writer and that is what I do.

    JK