25 Days of Christmas Movies: Day 3 Polar Express

 When I was little, long before the movie came out, this was one of the books my mom used to read to me and my siblings each Christmas season. I can literally hear her, as I type this, as the conductor shouting, "All aboard!" This story holds a special place in my heart and my yearly traditions.

I remember being eleven or twelve, the whole family driving not to the local, run-down movie theatre but to the good one an hour away to see it. My dad was excitedly talking about the motion capture technology they had used to film it. He'd probably seen some morning news show or read some article promoting it, but he made it seem like every character was performed by Tom Hanks. And he wasn't far off.

There is so much Tom Hanks in this movie. I made him out to be the father, conductor, bum, at least one of the puppets, Santa Claus, and, I know from my father, the actual acting of the little kid if not his voice in the final product. It would have been more appropriate to call the film Tom Hanks' The Polar Express.

I was once discussing this film with a friend and I said "Tom Hanks yelling is the purest embodiment of Christmas spirit" and I completely stand by me. I was very wise. 

There is a lot to like in this move. The action is fun and engaging. The humor is well-timed, just as funny for a kid as an adult. The kids are, apart from the clearly autistic coded train kid, not all that annoying. And his being annoying isn't really his fault so we'll give him a pass and zone out while he prattles on about trains for a while. 

The message at heart of this film is beautiful and clear (and one I've been searching for, now to just take it to heart): the spirit of Christmas cannot be found without but rather within. How we perceive things, the active choices we make in how we view the world, leaves meaning and purpose up to us.

A good lesson for many things in life.

There is nothing that makes me want hot chocolate quite so much as that song. So I had to, briefly, pause the movie and make one. It was good but something tells me it has nothing on the beverages service upon that arctic-bound carriage. 

The North Pole complex is enormous and I am curious if Santa industrialized it before or after the rest of the world had its Revolution. Did he start flying over cities and seeing smokestacks and workhouses and think "Imagine all the presents the elves can make once we institute the assembly line"? Or was it "they think they've got it figured out but just wait until their elves, or rather workers, unionize. Then they'll see that they should've stuck with feudalism." I mean sure the elves seem happy when they gather in the square but that's not Christmas Spirit. Its because they've fought hard for vacation time and dental. (Just ignore me. I usually do.)

It has always surprised me that no amusement park (Disney or Universal) made a ride based off this movie. Between the wild train ride, the top of the train skiing, and the mall-coin-donation-funnel used for the presents there is a lot of source material for one. Is it because it is a holiday film and interest in the ride would be largely seasonal? Or, is because (as I just learned, thanks Google) the rights to the film are owned by Warner Bros and they don't have amusement parks in the U.S. where the interest for this kind of ride would largely be centered? OR, Is it because they are cowards who refuse to give us amazing thrill-rides based off of our favorite childhood holiday films? I guess we'll never truly know the answer to such dire and pressing questions.

A final note before I give my ranking. Each year I find Steven Tyler Elf to be off-putting and disconcerting, in an Uncanny Valley sense. I have no reason to disagree with that assessment this year. Granted, with the vacant, glassy eyes and the too wide smiles of all of the characters it is a problem for much of the film but it is especially egregious with the diminutive version of Aerosmith's lead man.

A final final note, many of the elves sound like they have forty year smoking habits which I'm surprised that Santa allows. But, since their union has such great health care, I guess they can do what they want.

The Polar Express is a great film. A Christmas Classic that I am sure will endure for generations.

I give it 9.1/10 Engineer's Shouts of "CARIBOU!!!!"

See you tomorrow where I watch film I've never seen before but will admit my curiosity towards; Scrooged. After all, Bill Murray's ghostbusting antics tickle me during Halloween, why should his Ebenezian tiltings be any different?

JK